Tuesday, December 21, 2004

My finger slipped, & semi-seasonal ramblings

This mouse is acting up a bit...don't know if it's the cold or what (well, I'm in the Chicago area, so that does indicate a certain degree of climatological extremities...). Anyhow, that previous was not a whole post, and will be deleted at once.

Probably not inclined to post the whole train of thought now anyhow, as I actually should be working on something else, namely my latest portrait commission...rather like a joke fallen flat, not sure if anyone wants to delve into the subject of cinematic accents as culturally analogical. Save it for a rainy day, maybe, after the pressing subjects of holidays and the state of humanity have receded slightly back into the everyday.

Will be posting more here after Christmas and the hectic flurry of making sure all the presents are properly wrapped and presented--the indoor decoration is mostly done now save for the 4.5' prelit artificial tree my siblings and I are in agreement on purchasing...the 3' fiber-optic one is fun to watch, but there's no way of hanging the ornaments on it, and that does tend to make the decking of halls quite a bit less communal. The smell of a pine tree is fine and much-desired, but not so the needles. When you're three grown people living together without a designed housekeeper (i.e., "your mama ain't here", at least not on a live-in basis), it helps to keep the holiday complications as manageable as possible.

Shall be sending out cards to all those for whom I have "earth-addys"...this is a yearly project, to address myself to the actual work of "keeping in touch" and maintaining professional contacts. I have sent out just one so far--but that's a long story and it went to Minnesota. First north, then south, another paper airplane shot out into the sky of the world. Sometimes I think I wonder whether it's ever guaranteed that the mail will get where I want it to go, but then again, I just realize now that I may still be suffering from the aftereffects of a couple of unanswered (one returned) 'fan letters' from my sophomore year of highschool...long story. Two long stories, and I have not the slightest intention of going into that right now, not at this time of this year and with all the memories it's bringing up.

Not misty watercoloured ones, just in case anyone at all had the reference in mind. Geez, and I already had that damn song stuck in my head today--with an interesting conglomerated plot idea to boot, but what does that have to do with knocking the stadium lights out with a home run? Guess the answer's in the parking garage...

Sorry--I'm trying to cut down on the cryptic references but it just ain't working. "Semper obfuscare" is my motto by default--or at least, if not to confuse the shiznit out of people, to make them exert a little more than the average deductive reasoning in figuring out the exact location of my thoughts. Unfortunately, most people my own age do not have that accumulation of artistic and historical exposure to be able to put all the links together...and if you have not the faintest idea at all where I might be hovering with these things, I'm sure it grows fairly tiresome. At least, so my former girfriends have implied.

But I'll just leave that as a semi-apologetic (it's just the way my mind works, after all), and go off to get that painting under control. My back is killing me due to my wrestling a large metal bookcase in close quarters last night, and I think I really ought to aim for going to bed before dawn...

2 comments:

dancing idiot monkey said...

Hey
Yeah the idiot monkey again:p
Haven't really read your blogs much (my head's been a bit congested with flu-id and all) but the thing is, you write well. As in, its not boring and its not run of the mill, its different and that's cool. You're really mature, and that's cool too. I was just being reactionary, which is possibly one of my biggest faults. Maybe one of my stronger points as well, not sure...
But in any case, I really respect that you don't write in an I'm-easy-so-suck-me way. It's good. Have a great year. All the best with the portraits.
Cheers.

-Nadia

Aureantes said...

I don't mind your tactics in the least--I need feedback, need to be challenged...most of my friends online just don't seem inclined to take me up too strongly on the things I toss out, whether in my groups or in my LiveJournal account (that's the more frivolous one). I know--though it isn't something that makes me feel any better--that they're largely intimidated by my quote-unquote raw intellectual power. I don't really want to intimidate people--at least, I find it rather painful that I do--but on the other hand it's kinda hard to communicate otherwise.

I once had a friend who was very religiously reactionary and surrounded himself with those of like minds, but up until the bitter end I kept trying to see his side, his perspectives--even the post-traumatic paranoia that eventually made it impossible for him to deal with me and drove him to get precipitously involved with and engaged (at last report) to a dumpy, dull, non-artistic, nominally-pious, conventional girl who was incapable of challenging or stimulating his mind in the least. I knew he was deceiving himself and only imprisoning himself further, but on the other hand I knew that I was never going to be able to change his mind, being too dangerous in my own liberty.

Nice little story, parable, whatever...I guess the point is, I've never really known what to do with people who do seriously want to kiss my ass, or made much of a strategic effort to win them. So I make a big imposing hedge of mental thorns out of all my words, and those who don't run away yiping in the first five minutes, metaphorically speaking, I'm perfectly willing to talk to, and quite personably too.

Currently having a nasty cold, but the mulled wine is helping a good deal for my mood. Hope you have a good New Year, and better than the one that's ending...I think that's a common sentiment around the world, actually.

Be posting more later tonight,

Aurey