Thursday, February 17, 2005

"Working for the man".....

[Alright.....this starts off me feeding this blog in earnest, with annotations and hyperlinks even, starting with a semi-personal post from today in one of my rather more recreationally topical groups--the site, if you find yourself intrigued atall, is
Striped Tomato's Revenge --and I think I'll just leave that all to speak for itself when you get there....anyhow, I did not get that job with the local police department.....though, the general commentary re jobs still stands as I reread this a good while later. You wanna know more about the fangs and blue eyes, check out Starsky & Hutch--BloodPromises...otherwise known (well, still unknown, mostly) as one of the most original and daring Starsky & Hutch roleplays ever concocted.....]

--- In, "David Michael Starsky"

--- In, jill wrote:
> I love the fangs!!! And the blue eyes are awesome!!
> You actually WANT to work for the PD? You want to
> work for the man? What's wrong with you??!! Yeah,
> okay, a job's a job..I guess. DO they run a background
> check for that position?
> What is this "Research" you're doing????
> [....]

'Research' means watching S&H Season 2 episodes, in this case--they're running them out of order on Channel 23, so it's a little tricky as to exactly what'll come up when. So I watched "The Committee" before hitting the hay, basically.

And yeah...a job's a job, and this one pays pretty well. I'm technically well-qualified for it, but my main worry is just that I'm temperamentally too much a live wire for most regular jobs--if I can dominate the situation, that's fine, but I'm apt to clash with people on account of hating 'arbitrary authority' till proven otherwise. The main reason for trying for bein' a parking clerk, since the ad appeared in the paper, is that I wouldn't have to make or justify any decisions on my own account, whether I agree with them or not--only deal with people reasonably and tactfully according to what's on the books, which I *can* do. It's a bit Lawrence-of-Arabia-after-Arabia, in terms of abnegating individual discretion, but I hate being stuck in positions where it's a limbo of vague accountability. I either want to be completely responsible for things where I have the
widest latitude, or not have to be responsible for anything decision-wise besides getting the paperwork and data entries right and keeping people's tempers cool about it.

Plus, I see it as a learning experience more than anything else (besides having a steady income, of course). I see a lot of things that way--of course, sometimes all that it shows is how deeply unsuited I am to the rest of the workaday world, and how much I disturb the rest of them...that sort of thing. I'm just not the steady and consistent foundation upon which society is based.

There is a background check (and a drug test), but I myself can likely pass that--the worst they'd find is that I'm pretty much flat broke and 'living at home', unfortunately distractable when not securely employed, and that I should have applied for a deferment on my student loan payments a long time ago. Smart people need firm niches and/or higher academic credentials--I got "Leonardo da Vinci Syndrome" instead (one of my terms for ADD)...too many talents, not
enough definite footholds for a specialized world. Or, to put it another way, a foot in every pie and a finger in every door.

But really--and I'm assuming I'm not even going to make an interview for this thing--it's a bit the wrong time for me to have any wholly- positive regard for the establishment. I respect people for doing the best they can do in an often-thankless job, but that doesn't, unfortunately, change the facts of the climate in which we are living. The needs will always be there, but the priority of going about them will also always be a dicey and often-f**ked-up balancing process, and idealism--like stubbornness--is both a strength and a weakness of mine. So far as the whole establishment goes, I oughta be working as a profiler for the FBI or something--I have those skills, that overview of things--but how long do you think I'd last in any initial-foundational-literal process getting in, before I could get around to doing some good?

The same thing happens to teachers, too--the best ones, the ones with a vocation (I take that word very seriously) are often burnt-out on account of the training system itself before they have a chance to apply their vision and energy to the's the ones who play it safe and burn dim-but-steady who get their earthly rewards, so to speak. The real point of the job is far too often obscured with its own trappings and hierarchy, and it takes a lot to persist through all that while retaining real passion and integrity for the work itself. To continue playing with fire analogies (hey, I started it in the last post anyhow...), the more of it you have, the more likely you are to either get burnt-out or burnt-up by the others around you. A person needs a whole lot of close moral support to keep going when those are the odds.

But I really should stop sermonising--or, as I said I was going to do, save it for my formal blog (I'll forward this to it directly, actually--ah, the wonders of modern technology). I had a rather odd dream involving royalty last night/this morning, in convenient metaphor--but that's another one to dissect elsewhere, I suspect...>:)

Glad you like the pics...I always say I'm "doing dastardly deeds" with Photoshop whenever I tinker with stuff like this.

--- End forwarded message ---

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